忽冷忽熱
不是不愛
只是不想一廂情願
冷眼相對
不是不愛
只是不敢再三期望
選擇沉默
不是不愛
只是給你你要的自由和未來
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Friday, January 8, 2010
明天 @ taman megah
thank goodness it's friday! XD
yen's no longer around until.. maybe someday. so i gotta find my own entertainment otherwise I would go real BLUE. and this honor has been given to my ever dearest BRO. =D I was so surprised when he agreed to go for supper with me after more than 12hrs of work in the kitchen. He said he didn't wanna lemme down worr. XD im so touched. at least I ain't alone here (just kidding 3Js, =P).
guess what we had at the forever-crowded 明天? fruit juices for sure. the bigger the merrier, the more costly too! ^^ we had medium for watermelon & apple juices, dumplings, margarita pizza, corn & banana pancake, and chicken rice. the longer we ate, the more we ordered. Regarding calories, we adopted our once-a-week principle! HEHEHE!!
In fact I wouldn't go out had i not completed my Rutgers application and some other unis' essays. tmr gotta go to digital mall to get yellow ink cartridge else can't use tin's printer. heHe. also to buy a cheap cordless mouse perhaps! =D
yen's no longer around until.. maybe someday. so i gotta find my own entertainment otherwise I would go real BLUE. and this honor has been given to my ever dearest BRO. =D I was so surprised when he agreed to go for supper with me after more than 12hrs of work in the kitchen. He said he didn't wanna lemme down worr. XD im so touched. at least I ain't alone here (just kidding 3Js, =P).
guess what we had at the forever-crowded 明天? fruit juices for sure. the bigger the merrier, the more costly too! ^^ we had medium for watermelon & apple juices, dumplings, margarita pizza, corn & banana pancake, and chicken rice. the longer we ate, the more we ordered. Regarding calories, we adopted our once-a-week principle! HEHEHE!!
In fact I wouldn't go out had i not completed my Rutgers application and some other unis' essays. tmr gotta go to digital mall to get yellow ink cartridge else can't use tin's printer. heHe. also to buy a cheap cordless mouse perhaps! =D
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
day 1
Despite of all the complaints of not wanting to begin studying cos still in holidays mood, mates here were still hustling and bustling around to get the uni application stuffs done our studies were interrupted. Yeah this is our 2nd-last semester to work hard for a higher CGPA. Everybody wants good grades no? =D There's also an interesting issue happened today regarding subjects we gotta take for this semester. Ain't so sure about others but I did feel fortunate for cr who managed to switch from literature to C++, which was indeed good for her. ;) Anyway we're still awaiting another miracle to see if we would drop Statistics. We really dun mind taking it later in the states but at least not this semester please. Our schedule's been very hectic since the very 1st day at college here. ^^
Unbelievably I'm joining the engineering mates for Legal Issues class. I was freaked out at first for some reasons like 'who am i gonna group with for assignment and presentation?' and 'who do i seek academic help from thereby?' since I dun really close to most of them. Anyway some I do know like Carishma and Maritha - two nice friends - whom I'm gonna do the assignment & presentation with. Really glad to be with them. Haha! Dun ask why. :P
Evening's always time for sports. Played badminton like usual with peng,ying,yc and also two NEW faces - justina & cr. Later the 'noisy' cr managed to 'drag' (only if she's strong enough :P) me to go Pak Li for dinner with them. My SECOND visit to Ole-Ole after TWO years in Akasia was fun cos I was toured and introduced to all the shops there by Yin Peng who not forgetting to tease me after all. =P I strongly recommend the Lemon Chicken Rice (myr4.60) which tasted really GOOD and the Honey Green Tea (myr2.50) but remember to ask for with less ice. Reluctantly paid the 5% tax though. =P
Only after showering I realized recurrence of my old injuries - left ankle and right knee - was no longer a they-will-get-well-soon matter. I seriously gotta do something with it as it has been months it never recovered. I'm real worried. Mom's got inherited-artistry problem so I better watch out myself before it's too late (never knew I was this much stimulated). ;) Below is how i found the solution:
"Dear do u have any idea where to see 铁打? Hehe"
"Told u not to play badminton with the guys u dun listen. Follow me to Pudu la got one there."
Put everything behind and went facebook-ing to discover how much fun and interesting POKER game is! Falling in love with it already just after one game. I inherited dad and grandpa and grandgrandpa's gambling genes real well! XD
Alright, time doesn't allow me to go on, so as my out-of-ideas mind. Looking forward to tomorrow. It'll only be better and if not, much better.
Unbelievably I'm joining the engineering mates for Legal Issues class. I was freaked out at first for some reasons like 'who am i gonna group with for assignment and presentation?' and 'who do i seek academic help from thereby?' since I dun really close to most of them. Anyway some I do know like Carishma and Maritha - two nice friends - whom I'm gonna do the assignment & presentation with. Really glad to be with them. Haha! Dun ask why. :P
Evening's always time for sports. Played badminton like usual with peng,ying,yc and also two NEW faces - justina & cr. Later the 'noisy' cr managed to 'drag' (only if she's strong enough :P) me to go Pak Li for dinner with them. My SECOND visit to Ole-Ole after TWO years in Akasia was fun cos I was toured and introduced to all the shops there by Yin Peng who not forgetting to tease me after all. =P I strongly recommend the Lemon Chicken Rice (myr4.60) which tasted really GOOD and the Honey Green Tea (myr2.50) but remember to ask for with less ice. Reluctantly paid the 5% tax though. =P
Only after showering I realized recurrence of my old injuries - left ankle and right knee - was no longer a they-will-get-well-soon matter. I seriously gotta do something with it as it has been months it never recovered. I'm real worried. Mom's got inherited-artistry problem so I better watch out myself before it's too late (never knew I was this much stimulated). ;) Below is how i found the solution:
"Dear do u have any idea where to see 铁打? Hehe"
"Told u not to play badminton with the guys u dun listen. Follow me to Pudu la got one there."
Put everything behind and went facebook-ing to discover how much fun and interesting POKER game is! Falling in love with it already just after one game. I inherited dad and grandpa and grandgrandpa's gambling genes real well! XD
Alright, time doesn't allow me to go on, so as my out-of-ideas mind. Looking forward to tomorrow. It'll only be better and if not, much better.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Prelude to Spring 2010
another new semester - spring 2010 - is gonna stress me out from Jan through April before Summer semester fills the vacancy. i feel so empty as sch reopens. helpless with the void no matter how stress out i'm, especially when yen's no longer around i've out of motivation towards weekends. sob sob. only at this moment i realize how blessed it is to be grumbled/scolded by daddy and mummy back home. =(
throughout these four months i'm gonna take
1.Contemporary Legal Issues,
2.CELL BIOLOGY,
3.CHEMISTRY I,
4.COMPUTER PROGRAMMING I,
5.TECHNICAL WRITING, and
6.INTRO TO STATISTICAL THEORY FOR ECONOMICS.
there's nothing earthshaking about these subjects for they were expected. so ain't feeling over aggressive like before in fall 2008. Whereas for the time table i got nothing much to comment on as well cos really used to it(the hectic schedule) already after 4 EXCITING semesters (1 1/2 year) here in |NT3C.
here goes my time table: (the biggest i could get.. sorry..)
and my new semester resolutions are
1. improved cgpa,
2. more joy, and
3. less sorrow
Yá Bahá'u'l-Abhá
يا بهاء الأبهى
throughout these four months i'm gonna take
1.Contemporary Legal Issues,
2.CELL BIOLOGY,
3.CHEMISTRY I,
4.COMPUTER PROGRAMMING I,
5.TECHNICAL WRITING, and
6.INTRO TO STATISTICAL THEORY FOR ECONOMICS.
there's nothing earthshaking about these subjects for they were expected. so ain't feeling over aggressive like before in fall 2008. Whereas for the time table i got nothing much to comment on as well cos really used to it(the hectic schedule) already after 4 EXCITING semesters (1 1/2 year) here in |NT3C.
here goes my time table: (the biggest i could get.. sorry..)
and my new semester resolutions are
1. improved cgpa,
2. more joy, and
3. less sorrow
Yá Bahá'u'l-Abhá
يا بهاء الأبهى
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
阿密特 | 張惠妹
01 開門見山
詞: 林夕 曲: 阿弟仔
阿密特: 這就是阿密特的搖滾吧! 新詩般的歌詞, 你可以聽不懂, 但你一定可以感受得到我要吶喊的情緒.
那是個月亮 就是個月亮 並不是地上霜
那地上花瓣 看完了就完 沒必要再聯想
甚麼秋水 怎麼望穿 什麼闌珊 什麼風景 就怎麼看 何必要拐彎
打開門 就見山 我見山 就是山 本來就 很簡單 不比找自己麻煩
痛就痛 傷就傷 是誰說 肝腸會寸斷 混帳
點了燈 就會亮 關了燈 就會暗 誰活得 不耐煩 哪裡來的感慨
聚就聚 散就散 誰曾說 獨自莫憑欄 笨蛋
那是把雨傘 不是感情遺產
那煙消雲散 是天氣現象 不上浪漫的當
02 黑吃黑
詞: 陳鎮川 曲: 阿弟仔
阿密特: 面對感情的背叛, 女人不應該永遠當一個睜一隻眼閉一隻眼的傻瓜, 那樣的男人應該要知道, 當我們安靜的時候, 我們只是在思考. 委屈不是女人注定該有的符號, 你們愛演, 女人當然可以陪著你演!
你的頭長在哪邊 怎麼不在脖子上面
我被你晾了一夜 早餐配著你的黑輪
陪你看 警匪片 學會以眼還眼
我不還嘴 是正在 醞釀一舉攻擊
對你的笑 藏冷箭
你說的 那家店 明明全面禁煙
你的宵夜 到底在 哪個家裡解決
沾了一頭 煙臭味
黑吃黑 鬼咬鬼 愛演我陪你演
是哪個妹 又被騙 躺著給你安慰
有夠可憐 我超想見她一面
黑吃黑 鬼咬鬼 愛演我陪你演
是我也想 惦一惦 我有多少極限
你的謊言 是我飯後消遣 IT'S BULLSHIT
現在是西元幾年 還把劈腿當作表現
愛不愛一念之間 不過就是一句再見
折磨你 打哈欠 還得陪我上街
然後半夜 摸著黑 傷別條船鬼混
黑夜白天 都別睡
你放心 我絕對永遠笑容滿面
找到一天 跟你說 我的耐心有限
少在那邊 想挽回
黑吃黑 鬼咬鬼 愛演我陪你演
是哪個妹 又被騙 躺著給你安慰
有夠可憐 我超想見她一面
黑吃黑 鬼咬鬼 愛演我陪你演
是我也想 惦一惦 我有多少極限
你的謊言 是我飯後消遣 IT'S BULLSHIT
少在那邊 你的專業謊言 對我是種表演
少在那邊 你的專業眼淚 對我是種笑點
少在那邊 你的專業犯罪 對我是種磨練
少在那邊 準備滾到一邊
03 分生
詞: 姚若龍 曲: 鄭楠
阿密特: 每個人心裡都住著另外一個自己, 或許很多人從來沒有勇氣讓另一個分身出現, 但是不可否認的, 那個隱藏的人格可能只是被壓抑住了, "他"是不會死掉的.
04 掉了
詞/曲: 吳青峯
阿密特: 寫這首歌的青峯說有一次他看到張惠妹在接受訪問時表達對父親離開人世的懷念, 讓他很感動, 便寫了這一首歌詞很美的歌. 在唱的時候我的情緒很複雜, 我想到父親, 也想到人事間好多不告而別的遺憾.
05 相愛後動物感傷
詞: 陳鎮川 曲: 小安
阿密特: 女人最大的傷悲, 就是只剩下追求軀體上的慰藉. 然後, 當對方的體溫在枕邊消失, 又得再從新面對心裡更巨大的黑洞與寂寞. 這就是全世界動物的本能, 但是這種感傷, 卻是人類專屬的.
06 靈魂的重量
詞: 陳鎮川 曲: 阿弟仔
阿密特: 很多人努力活著, 卻有人一心要放棄心跳的權利, 我想想那樣的感覺, 想像那來不及後悔的情節, 想像人家說的: 人類最後的痛絕, 是在靈魂離開身體的時候. 我想說的是, 生命沒有真的過不去的難.... 在這首歌之後你聽到的是我們在台東山上燒著營火場歌的錄音, 把它接在這首歌後面, 是因為我想跟大家說, 人都有絕的走到絕境的一刻, 那時候請你回憶一個場景、一群人, 就像我想到了螢火旁的聚會, 你真的會捨不得說再見..."
07 好膽你就來
詞/曲: 阿弟仔
阿密特: 還了新的語言歌唱, 就用最淺顯、直接的文字表達想要說的話. 我都把愛唱得這麼明白了, 還有甚麼好解釋的?
08 OK
詞: 陳鎮川 曲: 阿密特
阿密特: 這是我期盼了許就的輕鬆生活, 我將這份自由化為音符, 與你分享.
09 聽得見的夢想
詞: 陳鎮川 曲: 張惠妹
阿密特: 這是最初完成是錄製的Demo, 只用哼唱的方式, 一樣可以感受得到我要表達的愛, 和那一份勇氣.
10 阿密特
阿密特: 這就是代表我的歌, 是我從小就聽到大的音樂, 我們總吟唱著很簡單的詞, 但那意境卻是永難忘懷的美. 第三段是我媽媽謝的詞曲, 有我孩提時期快樂玩耍的畫面.
11 彩虹
詞: 陳鎮川 曲: 阿弟仔
阿密特: 我有很多同志的朋友, 他們陪我度過了好多歡笑悲傷的日子, 也教會我總是看到世界美麗的一面. 一只想要唱一首真正屬於他們的歌送給我的好友們, 我終於做了.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
must u be like that?
i don't understand, i don't know. u hv always been so uncertain, no one's going to understand u except u yourself. okay, i admit, maybe sometimes i do, but it's like..50-50?
recently i've been quite busy and didn't appear as u wish i would. does this answer ur recent attitude towards me? haven't u ever thought of why before this i was so obedient, as in be there just for u? haven't u ever thought of how much i sacrificed although those sacrifices were voluntary? haven't u ever thought of why everything must be one-way??? why must u say those words in front of me???
recently i've been quite busy and didn't appear as u wish i would. does this answer ur recent attitude towards me? haven't u ever thought of why before this i was so obedient, as in be there just for u? haven't u ever thought of how much i sacrificed although those sacrifices were voluntary? haven't u ever thought of why everything must be one-way??? why must u say those words in front of me???
Friday, July 10, 2009
feces holding >.<"
the feeling of restraining ur sh!t from coming out is SO UNCOMFORTABLE!!! almost burst just now in the car! was driving some more! wth!!! =.="""" everyone out there take my words (including myself) and release whatever it is supposed to be got rid off ur body! especially SHIT and when in any min that u're going to LAO SAI! lao sai, get it?
phew~ guess i'm just too frustrated of the shitty just now.. damn.. stomach still don't feeling well at this moment. wth is wrong with the food? was it pizza hut's island supreme or the food frm hometown? grRr~~
phew~ guess i'm just too frustrated of the shitty just now.. damn.. stomach still don't feeling well at this moment. wth is wrong with the food? was it pizza hut's island supreme or the food frm hometown? grRr~~
Monday, May 25, 2009
inspiration beyond Cape No.7
almost everyone has watched cape no.7, haven't u?
in the movie, DaDa's mom's granny has spent her whole life in cape no.7 waiting for her man who went for military service to be back; yet towards the end her man never returned. only the love letters he has written reached the granny, and the movie ends with this song:
范逸臣-情書
作詞：鄔裕康 作曲：駱集益
一直到雙手像枯樹一樣斑駁
這些字才想起了當時的溫柔
一直到郵差走遍千萬個門口
這些信才想起了流浪的理由
一封封情書穿越緩慢的時空
代替我來不及說的含情脈脈
我相信離開終究會有始有終
有一天我將能為你描寫彩虹
一直到海角吞沒船尾的臉孔
這港灣才揚起那鹹鹹的海風
一直到時間終於一去不回頭
這些信才回到我愛人的手中
一封封情書穿越緩慢的時空
代替我等了好久的十指相擁
我知道回去不一定一路順風
只希望有天好好梳你的白頭
只希望有天好好梳你的白頭
listening to the song and referring to the lyrics, i could imagine how cruel reality is in separating two deeply in-love souls regardless of how enamored they are.
life's short; life's prestigious; life's life.
life without regrets is not life. we always need to yield to reality. forlorn.
in the movie, DaDa's mom's granny has spent her whole life in cape no.7 waiting for her man who went for military service to be back; yet towards the end her man never returned. only the love letters he has written reached the granny, and the movie ends with this song:
范逸臣-情書
作詞：鄔裕康 作曲：駱集益
一直到雙手像枯樹一樣斑駁
這些字才想起了當時的溫柔
一直到郵差走遍千萬個門口
這些信才想起了流浪的理由
一封封情書穿越緩慢的時空
代替我來不及說的含情脈脈
我相信離開終究會有始有終
有一天我將能為你描寫彩虹
一直到海角吞沒船尾的臉孔
這港灣才揚起那鹹鹹的海風
一直到時間終於一去不回頭
這些信才回到我愛人的手中
一封封情書穿越緩慢的時空
代替我等了好久的十指相擁
我知道回去不一定一路順風
只希望有天好好梳你的白頭
只希望有天好好梳你的白頭
listening to the song and referring to the lyrics, i could imagine how cruel reality is in separating two deeply in-love souls regardless of how enamored they are.
life's short; life's prestigious; life's life.
life without regrets is not life. we always need to yield to reality. forlorn.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
i'm back home
i arrived yesterday EARLY morning at 0015, KIA. dajie got mum and i frm the airport. when we reached home, dad was just back not long ago frm a singing competition at tenth mile yet erjie, who wanted to dine with dad after arriving from miri but was abandoned, was alrdy on her bed. chilled. i ran up to her room and woke her up but guess what respond did she give me? she looked at me with shocks for TWO seconds only then started hugging and kissing, not wanting to let me go.. =.=" i examined her body, especially her arms and thighs, and confirmed that she's really put on 3 more kgs. :D i then, as usual, kept my stuffs and ate some supper (ah chong's kolo mee) then went upstairs. now it came the CLIMAX of the midnight!! when i open the door of my long-waited room and then switched on the fluorescence light, i saw a black-little-cutie lizard crawling on my bed!!!!! could u imagine how dirty my room was?! sweat of those busy ones who claimed no time to maintain/keep the room since i left for kl after erjie's wedding on january 17!! zzz. no choice, i slept with SISs and studied how to use erjie's samsung touch screen phn. before i slept, i came up with two conclusions: iPhone is still the best, and i MUST clean my room when i woke up later!! =.="
and yes i did. after sending dajie to office i did laundry of the bedsheets, blankets, pillow and pillow cases, and took all the pillows out under the sun, then went for breakfast at Dong Guan, 3rd mile with papa mama n erjie. the dim sum there SUCKS like hell!! will nvr wan a next visit! the only goody i got was that dad bought me new shuttle frm world sports! :D we then went home and i visited San Gu and ah sing, and was treated with a plate of porridge! *wow* so yummy! *hehe* after that i picked dajie up frm office and went to the spring with her and erjie for 2 1/2 hrs! bought so many junk food as erjie complaint miri got nth to buy! -.-" oh yea, we met ah pern too.
once we reached home yipo was alrdy sitting on the sofa with legs high up enjoying the air-cond behind her while grumbling to my mum how the kids at the sch had tortured her. *cute* while they were dealing with Prudential insurance policy matters downstairs, i was slaving hard upstairs mopping, cleaning, tidying, and decorating my room! after a round of hardship i went dinner with family at my restaurant. my goodness. the PORK chop there was superb, tasty and fattening!! =D and yea, chapman, a mixture of angostura bitters, lemon squash, 7-up & lemonade was impressive! cheers! ;)
i was satisfied with what i'd done yesterday, especially to my room. the lamp berger aroma made me fascinated. time is short; life is precious! looking forward to today!!
and yes i did. after sending dajie to office i did laundry of the bedsheets, blankets, pillow and pillow cases, and took all the pillows out under the sun, then went for breakfast at Dong Guan, 3rd mile with papa mama n erjie. the dim sum there SUCKS like hell!! will nvr wan a next visit! the only goody i got was that dad bought me new shuttle frm world sports! :D we then went home and i visited San Gu and ah sing, and was treated with a plate of porridge! *wow* so yummy! *hehe* after that i picked dajie up frm office and went to the spring with her and erjie for 2 1/2 hrs! bought so many junk food as erjie complaint miri got nth to buy! -.-" oh yea, we met ah pern too.
once we reached home yipo was alrdy sitting on the sofa with legs high up enjoying the air-cond behind her while grumbling to my mum how the kids at the sch had tortured her. *cute* while they were dealing with Prudential insurance policy matters downstairs, i was slaving hard upstairs mopping, cleaning, tidying, and decorating my room! after a round of hardship i went dinner with family at my restaurant. my goodness. the PORK chop there was superb, tasty and fattening!! =D and yea, chapman, a mixture of angostura bitters, lemon squash, 7-up & lemonade was impressive! cheers! ;)
i was satisfied with what i'd done yesterday, especially to my room. the lamp berger aroma made me fascinated. time is short; life is precious! looking forward to today!!
Friday, March 13, 2009
王菲 - 旋木
作词:杨明学
作曲:袁惟仁
编曲:黄中岳
拥有华丽的外表和绚烂的灯光
我是匹旋转木马身在这天堂
只为了满足孩子的梦想
爬到我背上就带你去翱翔
我忘了只能原地奔跑的那忧伤
我也忘了自己是永远被锁上
不管我能够陪你有多长
至少能让你幻想与我飞翔
奔驰的木马让你忘了伤
在这一个供应欢笑的天堂
看着他们的羡慕眼光
不需放我在心上
旋转的木马没有翅膀
但却能够带着你到处飞翔
音乐停下来你将离场
我也只能这样
作曲:袁惟仁
编曲:黄中岳
拥有华丽的外表和绚烂的灯光
我是匹旋转木马身在这天堂
只为了满足孩子的梦想
爬到我背上就带你去翱翔
我忘了只能原地奔跑的那忧伤
我也忘了自己是永远被锁上
不管我能够陪你有多长
至少能让你幻想与我飞翔
奔驰的木马让你忘了伤
在这一个供应欢笑的天堂
看着他们的羡慕眼光
不需放我在心上
旋转的木马没有翅膀
但却能够带着你到处飞翔
音乐停下来你将离场
我也只能这样
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
王菲 - 矜持
"生平第一次 我放下矜持
任凭自己幻想一切关于我和你"
你有聽過者首歌嗎?
..沒有
作曲：郭子 作词：许常德
我从来不曾抗拒你的魅力 虽然你从来不曾对我着迷
我总是微笑的看着你 我的情意总是轻易就洋溢眼底
我曾经想过在寂寞的夜里 你终于在意在我的房间里
你闭上眼睛亲吻了我 不说一句紧紧抱我在你的怀里
我是爱你的 我爱你到底 生平第一次 我放下矜持
任凭自己幻想一切关于我和你
你是爱我的 你爱我到底 生平第一次 我放下矜持
相信自己真的可以深深去爱你
深深去爱你
任凭自己幻想一切关于我和你"
你有聽過者首歌嗎?
..沒有
作曲：郭子 作词：许常德
我从来不曾抗拒你的魅力 虽然你从来不曾对我着迷
我总是微笑的看着你 我的情意总是轻易就洋溢眼底
我曾经想过在寂寞的夜里 你终于在意在我的房间里
你闭上眼睛亲吻了我 不说一句紧紧抱我在你的怀里
我是爱你的 我爱你到底 生平第一次 我放下矜持
任凭自己幻想一切关于我和你
你是爱我的 你爱我到底 生平第一次 我放下矜持
相信自己真的可以深深去爱你
深深去爱你
Monday, March 9, 2009
stay sober, lms
i don't know when it appears; i don't know how it emerges; i don't know when it clicks; and i don't know how it lives.
i don't know i don't know i don't know because i'm not the Almighty God. i'm aware of serving the faith wholeheartedly throughout my life and it is merely insignificant upon the time i'm called to account for my deeds.
however (for everything there's forever a 'however'), i really can't ignore it when it comes inevitably; i seriously can't diminish it when it grows fundamentally; and i certainly can't stop it when the initiator appears vividly.
i pray to god to let me stay sober, and geez, the bottom of my heart is betraying me.
i don't know i don't know i don't know because i'm not the Almighty God. i'm aware of serving the faith wholeheartedly throughout my life and it is merely insignificant upon the time i'm called to account for my deeds.
however (for everything there's forever a 'however'), i really can't ignore it when it comes inevitably; i seriously can't diminish it when it grows fundamentally; and i certainly can't stop it when the initiator appears vividly.
i pray to god to let me stay sober, and geez, the bottom of my heart is betraying me.
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